The sequence of the steps is important. You cannot defuse the other side's negative emotions unless you have controlled your own. It is hard to build them a golden bridge unless you have changed the game to joint problem-solving. This does not mean that once you have taken one step, you have completed it. On the contrary, you need to keep going to the balcony throughout the negotiation. As the other side's anger and frustration resurface, you need to keep stepping to their side. The process is like a symphony in which the different instruments join in sequentially and then play their parts throughout. (Getting Past No, page 13)
Since reading this book, I have used these steps several times in my personal life. The ones that has been the most successful for me so far is going to the balcony and stepping to their side. These steps have made a huge difference in the way I handle conflict.
"Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?" Abraham Lincoln
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